"Yo fui expulsado del colegio por copiar en el examen de metafísica; miré en el alma del muchacho que se sentaba al lado de mí".
"Te voy a contar una historia tremenda acerca de la anticoncepción oral: le dije a esa chica si quería hacer el amor conmigo y me dijo que no".
"El sexo entre dos personas es una cosa hermosa; entre cinco es fantástico".
"¿Es sucio el sexo?. Únicamente si se hace bien".
"Antes, por cinco marcos, el mismo Freud te trataba. Por diez marcos, te trataba y te planchaba los pantalones. Por quince, Freud permitía que tú le trataras a él, y eso incluía una invitación a comer".
"Prefiero que me incineren a que me sepulten, y ambas cosas a un fin de semana con mi mujer".
"¿Puede el hombre conocer el universo?, Dios santo, no perderse en Chinatown ya es bastante difícil".
"La diferencia entre la muerte y el sexo es que la muerte es algo que puede hacer uno solo y sin que nadie se ría después de ti".
"El dinero es mejor que la pobreza, aunque sólo sea por razones económicas".
"El sexo sin amor es una experiencia vacía, pero experiencia vacía es la mejor".
"Si no te equivocas de vez en cuando, es que no lo intentas".
"De dónde venimos?, ¿a dónde vamos?, ¿hay posibilidad de tarifa de grupo?".
"Me interesa el futuro porque es el sitio donde voy a pasar el resto de mi vida".
"No solo de pan vive el hombre. De vez en cuando, también necesita un trago".
"No entiendo como no hay más gente bisexual, si esto duplica tus posibilidades de ligar el fin de semana".
"Una esposa dura tanto como un matrimonio, pero una ex-esposa es para toda la vida".
"No te metas con la masturbación. Es hacer el amor con alguien a quien yo quiero".
"Para el ejército me declararon inutilísimo. Si hubiera una guerra yo sólo serviría de rehén".
Otro día más!
lunes, 31 de marzo de 2008
miércoles, 26 de marzo de 2008
Traduccion de 'Always look on the brigth of life'
Hay cosas malas en la vida
Que pueden volverte loco
Otras te hacen jurar y maldecir
Cuando muerdas en hueso a la vida
No te quejes, sólo silba
Eso ayudará a que las cosas mejoren
Y... mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
... mira siempre el lado luminoso de la vida...
Si la vida parece una bonita mierda
Es que has olvidado algo
Reir, sonreir y bailar y cantar
Cuando estés deprimido
No seas tontopolla
Junta tus labios y silba - eso es.
Y... mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
... mira siempre el lado luminoso de la vida...
Porque la vida es absurda
Y la muerte es la palabra final
Enfréntate al telón con una reverencia
Olvida tu pecado - da a la audiencia una gran sonrisa
Disfruta - a fin de cuentas es tu última oportunidad
Así que... mira siempre el lado brillante de la muerte
Antes de exhalar tu último aliento
La vida es un trozo de mierda
Cuando te paras a pensarlo
La vida es una risa y la muerte una broma, es cierto
Verás como todo es una farsa
Hazlos reir mientras te vas
Recuerda que la última risa será por ti
Y mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
Mira siempre el lado bueno de la vida...
(¡Venga tíos, alegría!)
Mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
Mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
(Cosas peores ocurren en el mar, ¿sabes?.)
Mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
(Me explico - ¿Qué tienes que perder?)
(¿Sabes?, vienes de la nada - vuelves a la nada.
¿Qué has perdido? ¡Nada!)
Mira siempre el lado brillante de la vida...
lunes, 24 de marzo de 2008
Lumberjack song
Qué buena cancion, joder!
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.
Mounties : He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
Mounties: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
Mounties : He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama (or Papa in later versions)
Mounties : He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
Yes, I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) ok-a-y.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.
Mounties : He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.
Mounties: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
Mounties : He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama (or Papa in later versions)
Mounties : He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!
Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
Yes, I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) ok-a-y.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
sábado, 22 de marzo de 2008
Currioso
¿Se puede llegar a ser la persona mas famosa del mundo mundial mas uno mas mil millones de elecaseiinmunitas con solo una palabra??
La respuesta es
It´s Possible
La respuesta es
It´s Possible
La mejor manera de atracar un banco
Virgil entra en un banco, coge un papel para hacer cheques y escribe algo. A continuación hace la cola pertinente en la caja y cuando le atiende el empleado del banco le entrega el papel que pone lo siguiente:
"Actue con naturalidad.
Ponga 50.000 dólares en este sobre.
Le estoy apuntando con un revólver.
Esto es un atraco"
El problema es que ni el empleado del banco ni el director del mismo entienden bien la letra de Virgil, lo que le lleva a la cárcel por defender su caligrafía y olvidarse de que estaba cometiendo un delito.
"Actue con naturalidad.
Ponga 50.000 dólares en este sobre.
Le estoy apuntando con un revólver.
Esto es un atraco"
El problema es que ni el empleado del banco ni el director del mismo entienden bien la letra de Virgil, lo que le lleva a la cárcel por defender su caligrafía y olvidarse de que estaba cometiendo un delito.
The Philosopher's Song
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed...
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed...
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
viernes, 21 de marzo de 2008
Always look on the bright side of life
El gran Eric Idle, compositor de muchas de las canciones de Monty Python, nos deleita con este "mira siempre el sentido bueno de la vida"en el final de "La vida de Brian". Gran letra.
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...
Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Y hasta aqui la entrada de hoy.Proxima actualizacion: traducción de always look on the bright side of life,que se entiende más
miércoles, 19 de marzo de 2008
Now...Something Complete Different
DESDE LA ESTRATOSFERA
CON LA MAYOR DE LAS INTENCIONES
SIN NADA APARENTE
APARTE DE HACERNOS REIR
PRESENTAMOS
A
WODDY ALLEN
JOHN CLEESE
ERIC IDLE
EN
MONTY ALLEN FLYING CIRCUS
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